Beyond Buzzwords For Better Goals
Slow down and make goals real, clear, and more motivating.
A few years ago, I was in a coaching conversation with a colleague who said they wanted to “improve collaboration in their team.”
On the surface, it sounded clear enough. A reasonable goal. Easy to move forward with.
But here’s the thing: collaboration is a big word.
It can mean very different things depending on how we see it, how we’ve experienced it, or how we think about it. For some, it’s about smoother teamwork. For others, it’s about feeling valued. For others still, it’s about not feeling isolated.
My own view has been shaped by the work of Lyn Sharratt and Beate Planche, who describe collaboration as purposefully taking responsibility for our own learning and for the learning of others.
It’s a definition that moves collaboration from being something vague or “nice to have” into something intentional and deeply connected to growth.
So instead of rushing ahead in that conversation, I slowed down. I asked questions like:
“What would collaboration look like if it was working perfectly?”
“How would you know you’d got there?”
“And if you did, what difference would it make—to you, your team, maybe even your family at home?”
The more they spoke, the clearer it became: collaboration wasn’t the real goal. What they really wanted was a sense of trust and ease with their colleagues—something that would reduce the stress they were carrying home each night.
By slowing down and digging deeper, the goal shifted from abstract (“improve collaboration”) to compelling (“demonstrate and build trust in my team so I can lead with confidence and have more energy outside of work”).
That’s when progress became possible.
The Insight: Don’t Rush the Goal
We often treat goal-setting like a quick step at the start of a coaching or mentoring conversation. But the truth is: the most powerful goals are rarely found at the surface.
Mark McKergow talks about creating a “Future Perfect”; a vivid picture of what success looks like in our thinking partner’s mind. That idea resonates with me and has made an incredible difference when working with senior and middle leaders with an array of experiences.
When we take the time to explore, clarify, and even imagine the ripple effects of a goal, we often discover:
Underlying motivations that fuel energy and persistence.
Hidden benefits that matter not just to the person, but to their team or family.
A clearer sense of progress, because the destination feels vivid, not vague.
This isn’t just an exercise in efficiency. It’s an act of respect. By not rushing, we signal that their hopes, struggles, and aspirations are worth our full attention.
How does that connect with your experience in conversations?
Ways to Clarify What People Want
Here are a few approaches I’ve been experimenting with:
Paint the Picture
Ask: “If things were working exactly as you’d like, what would be happening? Paint me the picture in detail.” Encourage specific, detailed descriptions.Explore the Underlying Difference
Ask: “What difference would it make if this changed for you?” Look for the emotional drivers behind the goal.Name the Ripple Effect
Ask: “If this goal was achieved, who else would notice? How would it affect your team, your organisation, even your family?”
These questions move us from surface-level goals to ones that are motivating, meaningful, and more likely to inspire action.
Your Opportunity This Week
In your next coaching, mentoring, or leadership conversation, resist the temptation to move quickly past the “what do you want?” stage.
Instead, spend an extra 10 minutes exploring. Listen for what’s said—and unsaid. Ask questions that invite detail, emotion, and ripple effects.
Notice what happens when a vague goal becomes vivid. Progress doesn’t just become possible—it becomes compelling.